My CBC Piece

Xavi's First Birthday

I'm a member of a local vegan group on Facebook, Vegans of Regina. I became a member when it had only 31 others. Our numbers have swelled to over 500 people.
About a month and a half ago, someone that I didn't know personally, posted a query for the other members:

"I think it would be interesting to talk to someone who is vegan and also has kids who are vegan about what that is like. Let me know if you or anyone you know would be interested."

A couple people tagged me and, of course, I responded, "Haha I have a vegan 20 month old."

6 days old. White Lotus Photography

 The poster contacted me via private message and we arranged a date and time to do an audio interview and get some pictures taken.

Carlos didn't want to be involved because he doesn't like having his private life made public. 

Carlos is vegan, btw.

The interview went well and there were no questions that I didn't expect. Which I was grateful for. It was all questions that I had thought a lot about before I was pregnant, during my first pregnancy, and my second pregnancy, and during the many, many hours I sat quietly nursing my newborn.

"What made you decide?" It's morally consistent. I'm doing it because I believe it's right, why would I have my child do something that I think is morally wrong?
 "Do you do supplements?" Yup. B12 spray, liquid vitamin D, and liquid iron occasionally.
 "What if they go to a birthday party?" I'll have something similar for them to eat, and I'll talk to the host. "What if they don't want to be vegan?" Obviously, I'll be disappointed like any other parent when their child decides to do something opposed to how they were raised.

Babywearing while I hung laundry (10 months)

 "What is your response to people that say that you're forcing your way of life?" I think we all 'force our way of life' on our families. That's what parents do, they parent.

It was a bit of time before the poster interviewed a doctor, then their team wanted to make a video of Xavi and I playing and snacking. We were able to get together and film on a hot, hot afternoon at a local park. Xavi gave the videographer furrowed brows for the first few minutes but warmed up quickly, smiling and waving at the camera. I answered essentially the same questions in the audio interview. That evening, CBC News Regina played the minute and a half long video of me answering questions interspersed with Xavier playing and eating his carrot breakfast cookie. It was a strange video because it came across like I was trying to defend our veganism. Mostly because of the way it seemed like I was offering answers for questions that people didn't hear because of the way it was edited. Which, I suppose, in a way it can be read that way. I'm not looking for other's approval. That isn't why I volunteered to be interviewed.

I volunteered to be interviewed because I know there are other people that want to parent as vegans and I want them to know it is an option and is totally possible. I want nonvegans to know that it is safe and healthy and appropriate to raise your children vegan.The next morning the written article was published and the radio segment was aired. Sadly, I only caught the last few minutes because I was so busy momming that I completely lost the time. The few minutes that I did hear sounded positive though and I was very happy with. 

Man alive, I sound different on the radio!

Xavi reads a book with Chaos (21 months)

There were also a couple points that I want to clarify from the article that didn't ring true for us. When the author wrote that Xavier "He hasn't had a bowl of yogurt or a spoonful of ice cream." That isn't accurate. While it is true that he hasn't had yogurt or ice cream made from another animal's milk, he has had yogurt made from coconut milk and sips of our soy milkshakes.

The pediatrician, Dr. Ayisha Kurji says toddlers "going through picky phases and you're already limited in terms of choices". I don't believe nonvegans understand how much of the edible plant world expands when you become vegan. In the first couple of months of becoming vegan, I kept a list of foods that I tried. I had over 40 foods that I had never eaten before. That's astounding. Even though it seemed like what I "could" eat as a vegan, narrowed, it actually increased substantially.

I did make the conscious, well-thought out decision to not read the comments. Like I stated earlier, not looking for approval. Haters opinions aren't going to change how I raise Xavi. But I know myself well enough that I would fixate on the negative comment and play it over and over in my head and try to work out the best response to it. I also know that my response to those comments isn't going to change their minds. It's extremely rare for someone to react the way we want on a Facebook comment thread. Often it devolves rather quickly into passive aggressive comments and name calling. Neither of which are productive. So, I decided that comment reading was a waste of my time and energy. One of my fellow mom-friends did screenshot a couple of supportive comments for me. 
That made my heart happy.

Saturday night, we got together with my younger sister and her boyfriend for supper. We went to Selam for some Ethiopian food. Vegan, obviously.
While we ate, we talked about the comments they had read. I think the most memorable was someone claiming that "he looks pale." 

Ummm okay. Hahahahaha
Yeah, if you were comparing him to his primos ("cousins" en español) down in Chile. He is half Latino and when he stands next to any of my white friends children, he is vastly darker.

Or someone else commented that, "of course his name is Xavier and he's vegan. When he's grown, he'll be eating kale, doing yoga, and wearing a man bun."

Yeah, so that sounds awesome.

Another person commented on the fact that my boyfriend was not in the interview, and it was suspicious so he must be off eating a steak.

Again, Carlos is vegan.
He said that he was tempted to respond with, "I was with your wife." 
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
He didn't because he knows it's fruitless. But again. So funny!

And another criticism was about my shoes. I guess they looked like leather. 

The shoes are not leather.
I bought them about 5 or 6 years ago at Payless Shoes for $6.00 and they are "accidentally vegan".

I'm very conscious of my purchases. The stuff in our home is vegan. Everything from food to clothes to personal hygiene products to toys to cleaning products. Everything save for our cat's food.

I was concerned about private messages that I could potentially get from particularly aggressive critics but I've only received pm's from people thanking me for being interviewed and being "brave". Honestly. People are going to judge our parenting no matter what we do.
I know I have supportive family, friends, and doctors. Those negative, unsupportive judgements aren't going to change how I parent.

My Miscarriage *trigger warning*

On Friday, November 29, 2014, I was officially 13 weeks pregnant.

We made it past the first three months that many consider risky for disclosing your pregnant status. You're more likely to lose a pregnancy in those delicate 12 weeks. I was in the clear.

It's been two years since my miscarriage. I'm happy that I told people about my pregnancy before you're "supposed to". I won't hide my loss because they're so common yet somehow we never hear about them.
This was my experience having a miscarriage. It was awful and traumatic. It was probably one of the worst experiences I've had and I have a lot of life experience, as many readers know.

That Friday, two days after my thirty-third birthday, I woke and finally wasn't nauseous. I decided to get my body warmed up with some pregnancy belly dance-just gentle stuff like hip circles-before the 25 minute walk to work that morning. I had a little bit of spotting but tried not to worry about it too much. Spotting is fairly common and often inconsequential. On my way to work, I texted my doula/RN neighbour just in case. She responded that I had likely done too much and told me to take it easy.
At work, I took calls as I normally did but with this nagging thought interrupting my problem solving for callers. It was hard to focus. Jennifer, my doula, told me to drink lots of water and lay down once I got home. At home that afternoon, I tried to relax and not do anything. I kept spotting and had started cramping.
On Saturday morning, Carlos went to work. I sat on the couch with my dog and kept drinking water. The cramps were steadily getting stronger. I made some hot chocolate and watched Four Rooms starring Tim Roth.
As it got later in the day, I decided to shower to get ready for my work Christmas party. I heard Carlos come home as I finished. As I stepped out of the shower, big gobs of blood fell out of me. I immediately opened the bathroom door and called for Carlos. I told him what was happening as I choked up. We hugged and shared the same anxious look. I texted my supervisor and told her we couldn't come to the party.
We ordered Indian food and tried to relax. I kept in contact with Jennifer. She said to go to Emergency if I soak through a pad. At this point, the cramping was nearly unbearable and I couldn't eat my food. Carlos insisted we go to Emergency.
We went to the hospital at 8pm. When we arrived at the General Hospital, I spoke with the admitting staff about my symptoms. They were taking my blood pressure and as I stood there, blood oozed through my pants and down my legs. I had soaked through the pad. I was admitted right away and we were led to a private room just off Emergency. I was in excruciating pain. The cramping was horrendous. Worse pain ever. I vomited twice.
A nurse brought me pads, a gown, and hospital underwear. I soaked through a couple more pads and "free bled" into the toilet a number of times. They took blood samples and tested me for a urinary tract infection. I spoke with Jennifer on the phone and she could tell when the pain was really bad. It became hard to speak. It came in waves. Like contractions. I learned later that this cramping was worse, by far.
Poor Carlos was helpless as he sat on a hard chair next to the hospital bed as I writhed in agony, worried about our little fetus.
I was given saline solution and morphine (they said it was safe for baby) intravenously and Gravol to help the morphine-induced nausea.
Several hours after arriving, a doctor had come with a portable ultrasound machine to check on our baby but she wasn't able to see anything. She told us we'd have to wait till the next morning for a vaginal ultrasound.
I drank more water and ate some fruit since the morphine started to work. My sister brought me pajama pants and slippers since I had bled through the pants I had arrived in. Carlos went home for awhile to care for Mannie and Chaos and get some sleep. The morphine helped me sleep.

In the morning, they needed the room we were in so they wheeled my bed into a hallway and we waited there. At 8am, we went for the other ultrasound. I was still on saline solution and morphine in my IV but I laid half naked under my gown and hospital blanket in the hall for the rest of the day. They wouldn't let me have any water in case I had to have a D&C (which they never actually said, just that I may need a "procedure").
We waited in that busy corridor the entire day. An ER doctor finally came at 4pm and told us, with countless strangers bustling past us, that the pregnancy wasn't viable. There was "no yolk". He said that my body would likely expel the sack in the next day or so and I wouldn't need a D&C.

*Side note* The way the hospital handled this situation was not appreciated. We were given no opportunity to have a private moment after our second ultrasound. Telling us about the loss in the hallway was absolutely not the way to do it. This clinic is the answer.

The next day, I saw my regular doctor and she explained a bit more about what a blighted ovum was and told me there was nothing that I had done or hadn't done that caused the miscarriage. She said that sometimes it was the wrong sperm with the wrong egg. A bad recipe. Over the next several weeks we tested my blood's hCG levels to ensure it was decreasing.

This was so hard but I truly appreciate my body's wisdom. And because I had told everyone about my pregnancy "early", I had so much support and a surprising number of women I know shared their own experiences with miscarriage. Including my grandmother.

Raising My Offspring Vegan

First Message-wear for my fetus 

My friend had emailed me the Oh She Glows post "Will You Raise Your Daughter Vegan? My Answer May Surprise You". I am familiar with Angela Liddon's work, I do have her first cookbook and they're great tasting dishes. After reading her post a couple of times, my emailed response to my friend was, "That's such a lame response. Being vegan isn't about diet. It's about standing against a socially sanctioned wrong. Diet is just a part of it." Just a quick email of my initial thoughts. Of course I went on to think about it much more.

This is why I'm raising my child vegan.
It's clear to me that Angela Liddon isn't vegan for the animals (original definition of vegan) and if she is-or claims to be-she hasn't thought critically about her position. I can read between the lines when she says that she "personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labelling my own diet". Her feelings have been hurt. She goes on,"I don't want to push my beliefs on her". Um...isn't that what parenting is?! So, you don't want to be a parent...

Here's my line of thinking. If I'm a parent who sees how devastating rape is and doesn't believe it's an ethical way to behave, but at the same time I refuse to instill that same anti-rape value in my children, how is that ethical or even consistent? And once Junior is a teenager and he starts raping people, do I condone that choice? Absolutely not.
Part of the problem is that because animal use is so widespread and accepted by the great unwashed, it seems unreasonable to stand against animal use and to teach your children vegan values. But if it were rape, that's much more sound and the masses would support your "pushing your beliefs".
We have very little control of how others behave. To 'control' our kids choices and teach them similar values to our own (I reiterate-this is what parenting is) is one of the things that we do have some control of, at least at the start.
Angela Liddon doesn't want to label herself or her daughter. Personally, I'm very comfortable with being labelled as a vegan. Our brains are constantly trying to organize the world.
It's obvious that the violence inherit in the animal exploitation industries don't enter into her decision making. She fantasizes about "an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc." The closest she gets to talking about nonhuman animals is "etc". She doesn't want to restrict her daughter's pleasure. She doesn't want to "stop her from enjoying some of her dad's chicken or a birthday cake at a friend's party". Angela still sees "dad's chicken" as food. I don't. That's what separates us.
Look, I understand why she's in the position that she's in. Her husband isn't vegan, and that can't be very easy if you were concerned about other species rather than your own health (I'm divorced, I know). In the first paragraph, she writes that her husband "is happy and healthy which is what matters." <sigh> What  about the billions of other sentient lives?
I also don't believe her readership is exclusively vegan. In fact, a number of my non-vegan friends have recommended her blog to me. Could she be attempting to appeal to the non-vegan readers? It's obvious reading the comments on her blog that most readers are praising her decision. I am not.

Damn rights I'm raising my child vegan. Just like I intend to raise them to not be sexist, or heterosexist, or racist, or any of those other isms that put those that are different from us as separate and not worthy of moral consideration. I refuse to raise them speciesist.

My Re-Introduction To Reading

Yes. My last post was nearly a year ago. A lot has transpired since my spine surgery.

I am not writing about any of that in this post. I was, however, inspired to write by a new Twitter friend, @beanloveblogger, when she tweeted me her own blog post about the similarities she found in reading the book, Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion, featuring zombies and her experiences with her own brain injury. I really appreciate her perspective. It very much reminded me of my almost identical experience comparing my brain injury experience with a book by Daniel Waters entitled Generation Dead. Oddly enough, also presenting zombies.

My Dad had found a copy of Generation Dead with a large display of books that were free for borrowing (or taking) at the Wascana Rehabilitation Centre. I was going to various therapies there, early in my recovery. At the same time, I had just received the prism for my eyeglasses to help with my diplopia, so I was seeing singularly and could read for a period without exhausting my healing brain.

Now, I do want to mention, that although I was 28 years old at the time, and Generation Dead was written for a much younger readership (amazon says it's for reading level grade 7 and up), I was quite childlike in my cognitive abilities.
My brain was horribly damaged mere months ago, give a lady a break.

As mentioned in previous posts, I love reading. Zombies were one of my favourite topics. This was well before The Walking Dead came to television.
See post: Zombie Love and Saving My Brain
Anyhoo. I was excited to read.
Generation Dead is a story about a phenomenon of teenagers coming back from the dead as "living impaired" or "differently biotic", and how the community handles the change. Specifically, this story focuses on three characters, all in high school. It was enthralling to me because a lot of the characteristics of the differently biotic were eerily similar to what I experienced learning to walk and talk again. They shuffled, and moved funny, they mumbled and their speech wasn't always clear. There were definite themes related to how we treat different groups of people (class, colour, ethnicities, sexualities, and abilities). But what I really took from the story (stories, really, I also read Kiss Of Life and Passing Strange) was that-and spoiler alert-the living impaired kids that were able to "recover" from their deadness were the kids that had love and support from friends and family. This is also very much true in how my recovery has played out. My family and friends were and are amazing throughout my life. They are part of the reason that I've recovered so well from the undead.

My Sciatic Nerve

Starting the long weekend of September in 2013, my back started giving me problems. I put down Chaos's food bowl (he has a raised bowl to prevent bloat) for his supper, and when I straightened back up, I thought, "that isn't right."  I didn't give it another thought. I brushed it aside. When I woke up the next morning, I could barely move.
I went to a chiropractor a couple times, and he got me back to mobile. He told me I had to stop running till we got this fixed. Poor Chaos. Poor me. 
I gave it a couple weeks, and my back got worse, this time I felt pain in my leg and down into the heel of my left foot. Back to the chiropractor! It was pretty convenient. There's a chiropractic office a few blocks to the west of my home. I would just walk there on my way to work, stop in, get treated, and make my way to work.
It helped my mobility, but the pain was still very much there. After a couple months, he sent me for an X-ray to see what the problem was. The X-ray wasn't clear. They recommended an MRI.
I finally saw my doctor and got a prescription for pain medication. I wasn't getting the sleep my brain required to function. I also got a referral for physiotherapy. I needed to try something else.
Got the MRI, it confirmed that my L5,S1 disc was herniated and resting on my sciatic nerve, causing the debilitating pain down my left leg.
I started physio at a clinic a few more blocks west from my chiropractor. Both practitioners had me doing exercises in the morning and at night to try to get my herniated disc back into place. No such luck. My doctor referred me to a neurosurgeon, after a couple more months of waiting, I got in to see him. He said that if I can live with the pain, I don't need surgery, but if I can't, I should get the surgery. I told him that initially I would've said no to surgery, but it's been 8 months, and lots of chiropractic treatment and physiotherapy, missed days at work, and no running with my dog...I want the surgery. About two weeks later, I got a call saying I was booked for surgery: Thursday, April 24, 2014. That was in two days.
I was excited to visualize the end of my sciatica, but I did start to panic with all the things I wanted to get done before the surgery, and I knew it was a fairly long recovery period.

Surgery went well. I was so nervous, but everyone was so calm and very nice. It kept me relatively relaxed. They just directed me through each step in preparing for surgery.  I also brought Colleen Patrick-Goudreau's book On Being Vegan. I got a couple pleasant questions because I was reading that. I was glad I brought it because it invited a couple of good conversations.
I was anxious about getting the IV. I know people have had lots of problems getting it in properly. My guy got it in my hand alright, but he did have to wiggle it around to get it into the right vein. My hand has a bit of a bruise, but it isn't terrible. 
It really stung when they injected the anaesthesia. But then I was out. 
They gave me a lot of morphine when I came to. I was really stoned, and had a hard time hobbling to the bathroom with my IV stand, even with a nurses help. Well . . . I did just have surgery on my spine, so the fact that I could walk at all is kind of incredible. 

I was pretty hungry, too. I had to fast for surgery. I was smart and brought an apple and a banana because I wasn't entirely confident that they would have a lot for a vegan. They did have some rice crackers and peanut butter, and peach juice for me after the surgery.My parents came and saw me in recovery, and Carlos picked me up. I got really nauseous in the wheelchair down to the car, and in the car on the ride home. Luckily we live close. I took off my jacket and rolled down the window and the air really helped. 
But man. I'm having a really hard time with this "do nothing and relax" concept! It's little wonder they had to put me in an induced coma after the car collision! I'm only supposed to lay down or stand for the first week. I've been doing a lot of sleeping and reading. 
I can start increasing how much time I sit next week. I made a mistake the next day (Friday), I thought I could sweep off the
leaves from my deck. I felt okay while I was doing it. Nope. Minutes later my back just ached. Then I reread my back care instructions, all I can do in terms of house work is do dishes and light dusting. I can't push/pull/lift anything over 5 lbs.  Whoops
I am supposed to walk everyday and slowly increase the time. I get the staples out on Thursday. Which just sounds so utterly awful and painful, I'm really not looking forward to it. But I can shower after they're gone. No more of this spot-washing for me!
But sciatica's gone!!! That's crazy exciting and I wanted to cry from sheer joy. 

Carlos has been really helpful.  Extremely helpful. Not sure how I would manage without him.
SGI is going over all of my medical information to see if this back problem was caused by the car collision. I sure hope so. I've spent a lot of money on treatments, money that  was intended for some much-needed house renovations. Here's hoping.

Vegan Torta!!

sponge cake layers with damp paper towel
to keep them from drying out

first layer of chocolate icing

Well, I tried the vegan version of the Dobos Torte (my family calls it "Torta"). It was quite the adventure. I've never actually made the non-vegan Torta on my own. I had to be brave. I didn't follow exactly the instructions that the blog post for the assembly, so mine definitely looked different than what the blogger has pictured. I'll walk you through what happened with each photo posted, and tell you my mistakes. I will absolutely be trying this again and again, and probably again till I get it as close as I can to my family's version of the cake. It wasn't the cake part that was different, but the icing itself.

Icing it all together

To start, I made the sponge cake part of the many layers. This part came out almost exactly like my family's Torta. The blogger does say that she is able to get 10 baking sheets of cake out of the batter.

Some background for you. 

I've mentioned my "hallway of a kitchen" in previous posts...well, it's oven is also small. A regular-sized oven is 30". Mine is 24". I can only fit 9" x 16" baking sheets inside. Also, I'll share that Regina, Saskatchewan is and was not an ideal spot to build. The city was built in a slough (aka swamp). My house's one side (the South side) is sinking into the clay-like soil. My house is not exactly level. In fact, when I'm making stir fry, the mix falls to the back of the fry pan. It's rather endearing.


Now that you have that information on the structure of my home, you'll understand more clearly why I attacked this project the way I did.

Finished Torta with Caramel Glaze
(see the chunky pieces-that's bad) 

First Mistake: I made the sponge cake part entirely too thick, and it didn't go nearly as far as it should have. Because my oven is so small, I can only bake one pan in at a time. I have three pans. I had to wash the pans between layers. That said, I only got 4 pans baked out. This was because of a combination of factors. The oven is too small and I'm impatient. I knew it would take entirely too long to bake all 10 sheets out. I also poured too much batter in each pan because my kitchen is not balanced. It always looked like the batter didn't cover the pan. I just kept pouring more in! Bah!! Lesson Learned: Keep dough layers as thin as possible.

Second Mistake: To help correct the first mistake, I had to divide the sponge cake layer in half so it seemed like I wasn't missing so many dough layers. This created a further problem when it came time to ice it all. The nice thing about having it all baked out nicely in each sheet, is that the layers are closed. By that I mean, crumbs don't get moved around when you're trying to evenly spread the icing. Because I had divided the layers, I had to contend with lose dough crumbs making my Torta messy looking and unkempt.
Lesson Learned: Do not cut into the dough.

Third Mistake: I melted the sugar on the stove, once it was melted, I was to add some Earth Balance and lemon juice. Well! I added the lemon juice first, and it almost immediately hardened the melted sugar. I could barely get the Earth Balance added. It was quick! Rock hard caramel pieces next to the cake, it even removed some of the chocolate icing. Sad, sad day.
Lesson Learned: Earth Balance first.

The hardened caramel next to the Torta

The chocolate icing is darker than my family's icing. Course, that's probably because their icing has raw egg in it.

That kind of makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. 

Anyway! The icing wasn't much like the icing I was used to. Although, my Mom did say that it's very much like the icing of other Torta's she's eaten.
I do want to experiment and perfect it. I'll let you know how it goes. The dough was a winner. But the icing needs some work.
I'm considering adding silken tofu, or even Vegg (vegan egg yolk) to see how it works. I'll keep you informed.

Finished!

The Luigi

First off: YUM!

The Luigi, from The Sexy Vegan Cookbook, is the counterpart to The Mario. Both are pizzas (obviously. They are Italian), and both worth the work involved in making them. The Luigi didn't seem as labour-intensive as The Mario. I did already have two of the three cheeses made: The Not-zzarella Sauce, and the Parmesan Topping. I also planned it's making better than The Mario. I made the third cheese (Cashew Ricotta) the night before. She can be taught!
I admit that I was pretty nervous to try pizza with kale as a topping. I mean, I do love kale massaged in a salad, in smoothies, and baked into chips with some nooch. I was very pleasantly surprised. I'm very happy that I made myself make this.
I'll add that the kitchen smelled amazing from the garlic. Carlos was a happy man. (I brushed my teeth at work when I took leftovers)Naturally, I posted this picture on Facebook for my friends to drool over. One of my vegan friends asked what the differences between The Mario pizza and The Luigi pizza were. I explained that The Mario had a variety of vegetables, and two cheeses. More substance is what I said. The Luigi has three cheeses, kale, and garlic. That same vegan friend added that The Luigi was more green.
I NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT!! Duh. Luigi has a green outfit, while Mario has a red one.
BRILLIANCE, I SAY!

I did try the basic pizza dough again. Check it. It rose. I was mighty pleased. See...sometimes, most times, you have to try something more than once to be successful. And there's nothing wrong with that.
It was light, and baked out very nicely. Rolling it out was much more pleasant than when it didn't rise. Yeesh.

I think what I really appreciate about this cookbook (besides its' really tasty recipes, intriguing and apt recipe titles, and perfectly amusing cooking instructions), each recipe I've tried teaches me a new kitchen skill. I don't get tired of learning new skills. I take special delight in it. I'm always impressed that my 'severely injured' brain is still capable of learning. Growing up, I was always told that once your brain was damaged, that was it. There would be no way for it to repair. I'm seeing everyday that that just isn't true. So, I like learning. It's great cognitive therapy.

New skills I learnt making this pizza was cooking the full garlic bulbs in olive oil, and steaming kale. I've massaged kale, but I haven't steamed. It's pretty easy.
Overall, this will be a staple pizza in our house. Not gonna lie, I made the extra dough into more of the very same pizza for future meals.

The Mario

 

The Mario 

I made this on Saturday night because I'm wild and crazy like that. The Mario was so tasty and satisfying, but I did not plan the making of it properly.
First off, there are only six ingredients listed, but five of those are other recipes found in the book.
So, first gander, you think, "oh this is pretty simple." If only.
Don't get me wrong-I absolutely love that I know exactly what goes into my food! I appreciated that this pizza was entirely made by me, and not even the sauce was from a can! (Save the Daiya shreds-I just didn't feel like putting the time and effort into making the Not-zzarella Sauce-however I did make the Parmesan Topping!)
But man alive, I really regret not planning this pizza properly and making a couple of the ingredients the day before. I could have made the sauce, the Parmesan topping, and the Caponata on Friday night, then the pizza itself on Saturday.
I am a little reluctant to say how long this took me...please keep in mind that I am recovering from severe brain trauma, and it typically takes me almost twice as long to do most things that it takes other people to complete the same task.

The Tomato Killer

Caponata

Six hours.
Six hours spent in my hallway of a kitchen, chopping, roasting, frying, sauteing, blending, mixing. But ya know...it was worth the trouble...I learned a lot of skills, like roasting Roma tomatoes...and thoroughly reading recipes! Hahaha <sigh>

Sadly, my pizza dough did not rise. Damn it. Ah well. I used it anyway. By that time, it was already pretty late, and I longed for my bed again. The dough was tough to roll out, and it didn't go as far because it didn't rise, but it still tasted great!

I had intended to make half the recipe for the Caponata because The Mario only called for half of it, but the tomatoes were roasting for the full recipe, and I had already sliced the eggplant, salted it, and let it sweat for the instructed time for a whole recipe. Bah! Clearly, my brain needed a break. Hell-I'll make the whole thing.

I do blame the music that I've been trying to have playing while I cook~remember it's hard for my brain to focus on a task with a distraction like music. It is getting better though!

I plan to use the leftover Caponata in pizza rolls from The Vegan Zombie. I think that will be amazing. And if it is (I might call them Mario Rolls), I intend to make those for the next vegan/vegetarian potluck.

Of course, because I'm a sucker for punishment, I'm making The Luigi this week. Cause, I mean, how does someone make The Mario without making The Luigi? Am I right?!
I hope to apply what I learned from making The Mario to The Luigi.

Lessons learned:
*study the recipe
*plan the process properly

Conclusion: Yum! And yes, I will make this again.

My Grandfather Passed Away

August 2013

My grandfather, Morley, my mom's father died this past weekend on Sunday, March 23, 2014.
My eyes well up with tears just looking at that date.

He was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2009. Four+ years of pain is finally over for him.
I was told in February that he didn't have much time. Carlos and I went to Stockholm, Saskatchewan to visit my grandparents. The time was mostly spent with my grandma, because my grandpa did a lot of resting. But I'm really glad that I got to see him again while he was still mostly with us, and tell him that I love him, and hug him.

He spent as much time as he could away from the hospital. When his pain medications were no longer adequate, my grandmother took him to the hospital in Esterhazy, Saskatchewan  last Monday. My mother drove out on Wednesday to see him and her mom, and stayed for a week. My sister went out on Thursday, my aunt went Friday, my Dad and I went Saturday.

I'm grateful that my dad gave me forewarning of my grandfathers' visible decline, but I don't think anything could have prepared me for the sight of him. It was heartbreaking. Utterly heartbreaking.

My grandfather always had a pretty pessimistic outlook on life. I suppose that's what told me to view life differently, to be more positive. My sister and I always joke(d) that there would be not a cloud in the sky, and grandpa would state, "It's gonna rain, and the crops don't need it."
He would also consistently, and without exception, insist that he would die any minute. If not now, than tomorrow. As far back as I can remember. For as much as he insisted his life was over, he sure fought long and hard to stay alive.

I'm making him sound like an old grouch. He really wasn't. He was always kind and generous. He enjoyed having his family around, and laughing. My sister and I called him Papa for a long time. Going to Grandma and Papa's. I don't know when or why we stopped.

One of my most tender and favourite memories of him is when I was staying with my grandparents out at their grain farm just outside of Stockholm. I'm not sure what my age was, but I was sick with a cold, and was having a hard time getting to sleep. My grandfather sat on the bed, with me all tucked in, and stroked my hair across my forehead while I fell asleep.

My earliest memory of him, is when we were over at my grandmother's sister's house in Esterhazy celebrating Christmas. I think I was age 2 or 3...I couldn't have been older than four years old, I was bouncing around the way little kids do when they're with family. I started to choke, I'm thinking it was on ribbon candy, or just on some candy cane. I remember my grandfather, with his rough farmer hand,  reaching into my throat and pulling out the candy.

I wish I could explain the way I'm feeling. On one hand, I'm relieved that his suffering is over, that he finally feels peace. On the other hand, I'm having a really hard time imagining the world without him. He would have made a fantastic great grandfather. I'm feeling a bit selfish. I really wish he was still in the world as my grandfather.

I neglected my cooking project last week, for this reason, and I'm neglecting it again this week.
Prayers are Friday night. Funeral is Saturday.

Tempeh Chorizo & The Girlfriend's Favorite Salad That She Constantly Asks Me To Make And Won't Shut The Hell Up About

Tempeh Chorizo

 The Girlfriend's Favorite Salad
That She Constantly Asks Me To Make
And Won't Shut The Hell Up About 

I admit that the primary reason I chose the salad was because of it's ridiculously long name. I mean, seventeen words? It's amusing to me, and intriguing. But I shouldn't be surprised. One of my favourite books by my favourite author, Tom Robbins, is Fierce Invalids Home From Hot Climates.

Salad didn't seem like enough of a supper. So, I chose Tempeh Chorizo because I had some tempeh in my freezer, I had bought some sherry vinegar for the salad, and therefore had all of the required ingredients.

The Tempeh Chorizo was very simple to make. I did, however, have to read the instructions a couple of times. I couldn't understand why I wasn't being told to steam the tempeh for 10 minutes before mixing it with the spices and cooking. I stood in my kitchen and seriously considered steaming it without being told-I had learned from other seasoned vegans that to pre-steam was the way to properly prepare tempeh. But I decided against it because Brian is an executive chef for Vegin' Out.
Who am I to question a professional cooks methods?
I think the next time I make this recipe, I'll try steaming it beforehand. I'm curious what difference it may make.

This recipe uses a variety of spices. Carlos came into the kitchen as I was cooking the prepped tempeh on the stove and he read the ingredients.
"Cinnamon?!" He asked with surprise.
"Yup." I responded simply.
"That seems like too many flavours." He remarked.
"We'll see. He's a chef. I am not." Pointing out the obvious difference. Carlos raised an eyebrow. I continued with questions for him, "Oh, did you not know that I'm not a chef?...Are we breaking up now?"
Carlos pressed his reluctantly smiled mouth closed tightly and looked at the floor.
When he looked up again, we both laughed. He gave me a quick kiss and left the kitchen. I made the salad.

Carlos's Creation

The Girlfriend's Favorite Salad That She Constantly Asks Me To Make And Won't Shut The Hell Up About was very simple. Two ingredients were new to me-See: Vegan for three and a half years, and I'm still trying new foods-who says being vegan is limiting?? New ingredients: sherry vinegar and hearts of palm. I was surprised that my local grocery store (an 8-minute walk from home), Safeway carries both. Which is good, because my car is literally buried in snow. I am pleased. Not about the buried car. I'm pleased about my local store having what I need.  

I am willing to say that I was nervous about the hearts of palm. I wasn't sure how I'd feel about them. But they're quite good! Carlos told me that a couple of his friends in back home in Chile, work at a factory canning hearts of palm. 

I really enjoyed the salad, too. A lot. I'm not sure I would say that it's my favourite ever, but I'll definitely, and happily, make it again.

As you can see pictured, Carlos combined the salad with the chorizo in a tortilla and added some avocado. Not surprising. He puts avocado on damn-near everything. Crazy Chilean. 
Avocado and sriracha on many items. However, he didn't add sriracha,which is really saying something.

Overall, both recipes were simple, with easy-to-find ingredients, they were tasty and satisfying.

Vegan Hungarian Torta

I've been directed to a blog with a Vegan Dobos Torta by a couple of different people. I haven't had a chance to try this version of my favourite cake made by my Hungarian grandmother, but I'm very excited to try it!

It does look very similar to my grandmother's torta, but the ingredients are very different. Obviously, the vegan version doesn't use 30 eggs. I've never heard my grandma call it a "dobos torte", and it seems completely possible that there are way more than one version out there. "Dobos torta" is basically a rich cake (thus the far too many eggs used in my family recipe) with alternate layers of sponge cake and chocolate or even mocha cream with a caramel topping.
Now, my family has never used a caramel topping, they've only ever just used the chocolate torta filling as the icing. But hey, my family could very well prefer this caramel topping once they try it!

I'll be sure to post the results once I'm able to try this recipe!

Sexy's Scramble

Sexy's Scramble

Sexy's Scramble mixture

The first official recipe made from The Sexy Vegan Cookbook by Brian L. Patton.
First off, it was perfect.
I really enjoy Brian's cooking instructions (ahem "-and don't you dare touch it.") Admittedly, it was hard to not go with my impulse to stir. Simple to follow the cooking instructions.

As you know, I always have all of my ingredients ready and prepared before I start cooking anything on account of my brain injury. I don't think clearly with a lot of stuff happening. It's hard to divide my attention. Even though he advised to crumble the tofu into the pan once a couple of ingredients were sauteing, I had the tofu drained and crumbled and ready. Everything ready on the counter. Lined up in the order it gets added to the fry pan.

Two of the ingredients are other recipes in his book. Well, one is optional, but seriously, I can't imagine this dish without the Not Yo Mama's Cheeze Sauce. It was so freaking great.

It calls for canned diced mild green chilis. Annoyingly, I neglected to put the chilis on our grocery list and therefore didn't buy any. Ugh. I made the cheeze sauce in the morning, rather than the night before. Carlos was sweet enough to run to the store in the morning. Carlos didn't want to buy packaged produce. He bought fresh jalapeno peppers to replace the mild green chilis. I used one and chopped it up. I worried it would be too spicy, but he assured me it would be fine. He was correct.

The Scramble Seasoning was stupid easy. Luckily, I already had all of the spices and was able to mix them together the night before.

The warmed tortillas were great. We just folded them up, and ate them like a burrito.

Not Yo Mama's Cheeze Sauce
& Scramble Seasoning

Carlos said these "were wonderful" in his sexy Spanish-Chilean accent. He loved it with the avocado. We have lots leftover, we'll be happily eating this for lunches this week.

The Sexy Vegan ~ March & April 2014

For March and April of 2014, the cookbook I have chosen to cook from is The Sexy Vegan: Extraordinary Food from an Ordinary Dude by Brian L. Patton.

I first heard of his work while listening to a podcast. I can't recall if it was Our Hen House or Red Radio...mmmm...Red Radio! It came out just in 2012, and I bought it right away.
I'm embarrassed to say I cooked from it only once, and it wasn't long ago. About a month ago, we had "Food Day" where I work. People were encouraged to bring food to share. A bunch of people were on a diet (after Christmas tradition), so I thought I'd bring something (absolutely vegan) that wasn't cupcakes or doughnuts. I wanted something without gluten (co-workers are gluten-sensitive), and without soy because I don't like how non-vegans often assume that all vegans eat is sprouts and soy.

I perused my cookbook collection. I wanted to see what The Sexy Vegan had to offer. All sorts of dishes I wanted to make! I decided on the Marinated Eggplant Pasta Salad. I've never cooked with eggplant before, and I was excited to try something new! In my pre-vegan days I never ate eggplant. But it's really good! Now, as a vegan,  I've eaten it in a few dishes offered in restaurants in Regina, but never cooked it on my own.

Everyone at work loved the salad! One woman even remarked that she normally doesn't care for eggplant, but she really loved it in this dish. I was so happy. In fact, my container of salad went 'missing' when I came to work the next day. I still don't really know what happened to it, but the container was empty and clean on my desk the following week. I won't ask questions.

Brian L. Patton, the author, has a YouTube cooking show. It's hilariously awesome. My understanding is that he started with the cooking videos, then got a book deal. He named the YouTube videos, "The Sexy Vegan" so that people (namely men) would click on his videos. Well, it worked. His cooking show has loads of episodes, and he now has two cookbooks published.
Nicely done Brian!

Sriracha Ketchup & Cock Sauce Cashew Cheeze

Cock Sauce Cashew Cheeze

Sriracha Ketchup

I decided to do these two sauces for this week and in leiu of last week's Sriracha recipe (I was unable to make it last week).
I made these two sauces without Carlos's assistance. He had other stuff he needed to get done.

We bought the onion rings (vegan, of course) pictured with the ketchup, and sweet potato fries from a local organic store, Dad's Organic Market. Pictured with the cheeze is a couple of tortilla wraps that were getting stale, that I had oiled, spiced, and baked, then cut into chips.

These sauces were super easy to make, and took no time. The cheeze took a little planning because the cashews needed to soak for an hour, and once blended with the rest of the ingredients, it needed to be refrigerated for another two hours, but active prep time was short and not complicated.

The sauces are very tasty. I say "are" and not "were" because we still have some in the fridge. Carlos was worried that the cheeze was too spicy for me, but it wasn't. I enjoyed how it all tasted. I got daydreaming about how raw veggies would taste with the cheeze.

Maple-Sriracha Doughnuts

Maple-Sriracha Doughnuts

Baking!!
Baking is included in The Veggie-Lover's Sriracha Cookbook.
I made this on my own this time because Carlos had other plans. I was okay, the kitchen is so small that it's a bit tricky to navigate with another person working in there. Two humans, plus my pit bull gets to be too much.
When Abigail lived here with her Standard Poodle and her Chinese Crested, along with my own dog: it was just too much. Luckily there's a door with many little windows between the kitchen and dining room, so we would often close that to keep them out. It was cute to have all three of them waiting and watching.
Anyway. The point I was making is that sometimes it's nice to not have to negotiate for space in the kitchen.

These were very simple to make. The biggest problem I had was that I didn't own a doughnut tray. My plan was to make these a few weeks ago, but I could not find doughnut pans in Regina. I ordered two on Amazon. It was great because they came less than a week later.

Very simple doughnut recipe. The glaze is the piece that has maple syrup and sriracha. It only calls for two tablespoons, but it seemed pretty spicy for my mouth when I tried the glaze on it's own.

These were great tasting doughnuts! The recipe calls for a bit of ground cinnamon and ground ginger, and it's just right. The glaze wasn't as spicy on the doughnut. Eating the glaze in combination with the dough was pleasant. Carlos decided we should make more for him to take to work to show his co-workers his girlfriend's baking skills. He's pretty excited to eat them while at work when everyone else is eating Tim Horton's doughnuts.

**Update**
I decided to make more doughnuts to share at work. I used this doughnut recipe but made the chocolate icing recipe from Babycakes Covers The Classics. I kept the doughnuts uncovered overnight to let the chocolate icing dry a bit, and harden. I took the doughnuts to work, a bit concerned that I had screwed them up by leaving them out.
I worried for nothing. Everyone absolutely loved them! A co-worker even hugged me, then he said he would gladly buy all of the ingredients for me, if I made more for him (this guy loathes vegetables and loves eating animals). Another co-worker said that she thought they would be tough because they felt quite firm, but when she bit into it, it was so soft and fresh. She was surprised. I'm quite pleased. Another even said that if she could buy vegan baking, she would go vegan...making me reconsider my future...

Ah the power of food.

Jackfruit "Pulled Pork" Sammiches with Pickled Red Onion

Jackfruit "Pulled Pork" Sammiches
with Pickled Red Onion

We made this on Saturday, and I'm just getting to the blog today.

Alyx, get your shit together.

It was a bit tricky finding the jackfruit. The recipe calls for jackfruit in a can with brine. I've only seen it fresh in the produce section. I posted in Vegans of Regina on Facebook to find some. Within seconds I had responses.
I tried at Superstore in the International isle, and they were all out.

Boo!

Then we tried the Asian grocery store in town, Ngoy Hoy Asian Foods. They do have jackfruit in a can, but only in syrup, not brine. So we'd probably end up with something sweeter. We just went with it.

I made the pickled red onion, Carlos made the "pulled pork". He wasn't certain of the directions to make the jackfruit pieces into a pulled pork texture. The instructions tell you to use two forks to pull it apart, we ended up doing it by hand. It was much easier. Carlos never had pulled pork before. I guess in Chile it isn't a big menu item? He never liked eating pigs anyway. Back when I ate animals, I loved pulled pork. The flavours, and even the texture was very similar to the way the exploited dish tastes. From what I can remember...it's been a few years.
Carlos also used less sriracha than what the recipe called for. For me. He used the perfect amount. It wasn't too spicy for my Eastern European-Canadian mouth. He didn't use my smoked paprika like the recipe says. He thought the stuff I have was 'too chunky'. Fine. It still tasted great.

**Please note that the photos for the dish do not do it justice. The picture in The Veggie-Lover's Sriracha Cookbook was much more accurate, and much more enticing.

Sriracha and Green Onion Biscuits with Country Mushroom Gravy

Sriracha and Green Onion Biscuits
 with Country Mushroom Gravy.

Carlos and I made this because a Facebook friend requested it.
It's listed in the Breakfast section of The Veggie-Lover's Sriracha Cookbook.

Carlos made the gravy while I got the biscuits together. It was my first time ever making biscuits, and I got irritated with how sticky the dough became. But it was kind of perfect. Very much reminded me of the cheesy biscuits at Red Lobster, only instead of cheese, there's sriracha and green onion. It was the perfect amount of spice, too. Well, perfect for my "Canadian mouth"-direct quote from Carlos.
He said it was good for his Chilean mouth, as well. It was nice because it didn't completely take over the way the other ingredients tasted. It was a good accent.

It was nice to have the gravy as a dip for the biscuits. I've gotten much better with mushrooms. Prior to becoming vegan, I could not stand the taste or texture of them, but I've been forcing myself to be more open-minded, and I've come a long way. It was flavourful gravy, and the fresh rosemary that the recipe calls for was a great taste. You really can tell the difference between dried spices and fresh spices.

As stated earlier, this recipe is found in the breakfast section, but we made it for supper. Partly because I neglected to pick up cremini mushrooms, green onions, or shallots. But mostly because I never thought of gravy as a breakfast food. Plus I made gluten-free buckwheat pancakes with bananas and strawberries from Isa Chandra Moskowitz's Vegan Brunch this morning.

Overall, pretty simple, very tasty.

Edamame-Sriracha Succotash

Edamame-Sriracha Succotash

I'm late.
No, not pregnant. Late writing this post.

It was week three last week, and Carlos and I made Edamame-Sriricha Succotash from The Veggie-Lover's Sriracha Cookbook.

Admittedly, I don't really know what makes a succotash succotash, and I could very easily find (Oh Google), but . . . meh. As long as it's vegan, and it tastes good, all of that definition stuff is secondary and not essential knowledge.
This was amazingly simple to make. It's real purdy too.
Carlos just loved it! It had a little bit of kick, but not too much for me to handle.
Again, we had all of the ingredients except for the edamame. We each took some for lunch a couple days till it was gone. It was nice because I didn't need to warm it up, wasting valuable break time.

Maple-Sriracha Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Cranberry Wild Rice

Maple-Sriracha Roasted Brussels Sprouts
with Cranberry Wild Rice

For our second week of recipe resolutaions, together, we made Maple-Sriracha Roasted Brussels Sprouts with Cranberry Wild Rice from The Veggie-Lover's Sriracha Cookbook.

It's fun cooking with Carlos.

Awesomely, we had all of the ingredients except for the brussels sprouts. Sadly, the brussels sprouts we were able to find weren't great. They were small and rather spotty, but we used them anyway (we had a recipe we just had to make!).

The house smelled amazing. This dish was great tasting! It was sweet, with a tiny hint of spice, and the brussels sprouts were so juicy! It was a wonderful array of flavours and textures.
When we make it in the future, we'll make a combination of brown basmati rice and wild rice. Just wild rice was a bit tough (good fibre though!).

Overall, this recipe was pleasant and peaceful.

Happy New Year 2014! (Penne Puttanesca with Charred Broccolini)

Penne Puttanesca with Charred Broccolini

I'm dating a new man (as of mid-July 2013), he's so great. I'd like to tell you more about him, but I want to get to our plan for 2014.
As I'm sure some of you know, I have many vegan cookbooks. I need to update my library list. There's even more because I have a sickness for buying vegan books on Amazon.ca. Besides that, I've begun to use 20-or-so recipes, rather than trying something else. Although I have eaten a lot of great vegan dishes that Carlos, my boyfriend, has cooked up. Amazing.

We decided on The Veggie-Lover's Sriracha Cookbook: 50 Vegan "Rooster Sauce" Recipes that Pack a Punch to start. It was his Christmas gift  from me. I bought a couple bottles of sriracha and a sriracha t-shirt from RedBubble.com to make him a themed gift. First up was Penne Puttanesca with Charred Broccolini.

Carlos made this while I was doing . . . something . . . I can't recall if I was napping or what. In fact, he went out and bought the few items we didn't have for the recipe, and he cooked. And washed the dishes.

Folks, this man is amazing.

Admittedly, I was a tad nervous it would be too spicy for me. But it wasn't. The charred broccolini was perfect, and so was the sauce. Olives are not my favourite, but they were great for this dish. Very flavourful. Excited for next week's dish.