Raising My Offspring Vegan

First Message-wear for my fetus 

My friend had emailed me the Oh She Glows post "Will You Raise Your Daughter Vegan? My Answer May Surprise You". I am familiar with Angela Liddon's work, I do have her first cookbook and they're great tasting dishes. After reading her post a couple of times, my emailed response to my friend was, "That's such a lame response. Being vegan isn't about diet. It's about standing against a socially sanctioned wrong. Diet is just a part of it." Just a quick email of my initial thoughts. Of course I went on to think about it much more.

This is why I'm raising my child vegan.
It's clear to me that Angela Liddon isn't vegan for the animals (original definition of vegan) and if she is-or claims to be-she hasn't thought critically about her position. I can read between the lines when she says that she "personally experienced benefits and drawbacks to labelling my own diet". Her feelings have been hurt. She goes on,"I don't want to push my beliefs on her". Um...isn't that what parenting is?! So, you don't want to be a parent...

Here's my line of thinking. If I'm a parent who sees how devastating rape is and doesn't believe it's an ethical way to behave, but at the same time I refuse to instill that same anti-rape value in my children, how is that ethical or even consistent? And once Junior is a teenager and he starts raping people, do I condone that choice? Absolutely not.
Part of the problem is that because animal use is so widespread and accepted by the great unwashed, it seems unreasonable to stand against animal use and to teach your children vegan values. But if it were rape, that's much more sound and the masses would support your "pushing your beliefs".
We have very little control of how others behave. To 'control' our kids choices and teach them similar values to our own (I reiterate-this is what parenting is) is one of the things that we do have some control of, at least at the start.
Angela Liddon doesn't want to label herself or her daughter. Personally, I'm very comfortable with being labelled as a vegan. Our brains are constantly trying to organize the world.
It's obvious that the violence inherit in the animal exploitation industries don't enter into her decision making. She fantasizes about "an excitement for healthy food, understanding its impact on our energy, etc." The closest she gets to talking about nonhuman animals is "etc". She doesn't want to restrict her daughter's pleasure. She doesn't want to "stop her from enjoying some of her dad's chicken or a birthday cake at a friend's party". Angela still sees "dad's chicken" as food. I don't. That's what separates us.
Look, I understand why she's in the position that she's in. Her husband isn't vegan, and that can't be very easy if you were concerned about other species rather than your own health (I'm divorced, I know). In the first paragraph, she writes that her husband "is happy and healthy which is what matters." <sigh> What  about the billions of other sentient lives?
I also don't believe her readership is exclusively vegan. In fact, a number of my non-vegan friends have recommended her blog to me. Could she be attempting to appeal to the non-vegan readers? It's obvious reading the comments on her blog that most readers are praising her decision. I am not.

Damn rights I'm raising my child vegan. Just like I intend to raise them to not be sexist, or heterosexist, or racist, or any of those other isms that put those that are different from us as separate and not worthy of moral consideration. I refuse to raise them speciesist.

Vegan Torta!!

sponge cake layers with damp paper towel
to keep them from drying out

first layer of chocolate icing

Well, I tried the vegan version of the Dobos Torte (my family calls it "Torta"). It was quite the adventure. I've never actually made the non-vegan Torta on my own. I had to be brave. I didn't follow exactly the instructions that the blog post for the assembly, so mine definitely looked different than what the blogger has pictured. I'll walk you through what happened with each photo posted, and tell you my mistakes. I will absolutely be trying this again and again, and probably again till I get it as close as I can to my family's version of the cake. It wasn't the cake part that was different, but the icing itself.

Icing it all together

To start, I made the sponge cake part of the many layers. This part came out almost exactly like my family's Torta. The blogger does say that she is able to get 10 baking sheets of cake out of the batter.

Some background for you. 

I've mentioned my "hallway of a kitchen" in previous posts...well, it's oven is also small. A regular-sized oven is 30". Mine is 24". I can only fit 9" x 16" baking sheets inside. Also, I'll share that Regina, Saskatchewan is and was not an ideal spot to build. The city was built in a slough (aka swamp). My house's one side (the South side) is sinking into the clay-like soil. My house is not exactly level. In fact, when I'm making stir fry, the mix falls to the back of the fry pan. It's rather endearing.


Now that you have that information on the structure of my home, you'll understand more clearly why I attacked this project the way I did.

Finished Torta with Caramel Glaze
(see the chunky pieces-that's bad) 

First Mistake: I made the sponge cake part entirely too thick, and it didn't go nearly as far as it should have. Because my oven is so small, I can only bake one pan in at a time. I have three pans. I had to wash the pans between layers. That said, I only got 4 pans baked out. This was because of a combination of factors. The oven is too small and I'm impatient. I knew it would take entirely too long to bake all 10 sheets out. I also poured too much batter in each pan because my kitchen is not balanced. It always looked like the batter didn't cover the pan. I just kept pouring more in! Bah!! Lesson Learned: Keep dough layers as thin as possible.

Second Mistake: To help correct the first mistake, I had to divide the sponge cake layer in half so it seemed like I wasn't missing so many dough layers. This created a further problem when it came time to ice it all. The nice thing about having it all baked out nicely in each sheet, is that the layers are closed. By that I mean, crumbs don't get moved around when you're trying to evenly spread the icing. Because I had divided the layers, I had to contend with lose dough crumbs making my Torta messy looking and unkempt.
Lesson Learned: Do not cut into the dough.

Third Mistake: I melted the sugar on the stove, once it was melted, I was to add some Earth Balance and lemon juice. Well! I added the lemon juice first, and it almost immediately hardened the melted sugar. I could barely get the Earth Balance added. It was quick! Rock hard caramel pieces next to the cake, it even removed some of the chocolate icing. Sad, sad day.
Lesson Learned: Earth Balance first.

The hardened caramel next to the Torta

The chocolate icing is darker than my family's icing. Course, that's probably because their icing has raw egg in it.

That kind of makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. 

Anyway! The icing wasn't much like the icing I was used to. Although, my Mom did say that it's very much like the icing of other Torta's she's eaten.
I do want to experiment and perfect it. I'll let you know how it goes. The dough was a winner. But the icing needs some work.
I'm considering adding silken tofu, or even Vegg (vegan egg yolk) to see how it works. I'll keep you informed.

Finished!

The Mario

 

The Mario 

I made this on Saturday night because I'm wild and crazy like that. The Mario was so tasty and satisfying, but I did not plan the making of it properly.
First off, there are only six ingredients listed, but five of those are other recipes found in the book.
So, first gander, you think, "oh this is pretty simple." If only.
Don't get me wrong-I absolutely love that I know exactly what goes into my food! I appreciated that this pizza was entirely made by me, and not even the sauce was from a can! (Save the Daiya shreds-I just didn't feel like putting the time and effort into making the Not-zzarella Sauce-however I did make the Parmesan Topping!)
But man alive, I really regret not planning this pizza properly and making a couple of the ingredients the day before. I could have made the sauce, the Parmesan topping, and the Caponata on Friday night, then the pizza itself on Saturday.
I am a little reluctant to say how long this took me...please keep in mind that I am recovering from severe brain trauma, and it typically takes me almost twice as long to do most things that it takes other people to complete the same task.

The Tomato Killer

Caponata

Six hours.
Six hours spent in my hallway of a kitchen, chopping, roasting, frying, sauteing, blending, mixing. But ya know...it was worth the trouble...I learned a lot of skills, like roasting Roma tomatoes...and thoroughly reading recipes! Hahaha <sigh>

Sadly, my pizza dough did not rise. Damn it. Ah well. I used it anyway. By that time, it was already pretty late, and I longed for my bed again. The dough was tough to roll out, and it didn't go as far because it didn't rise, but it still tasted great!

I had intended to make half the recipe for the Caponata because The Mario only called for half of it, but the tomatoes were roasting for the full recipe, and I had already sliced the eggplant, salted it, and let it sweat for the instructed time for a whole recipe. Bah! Clearly, my brain needed a break. Hell-I'll make the whole thing.

I do blame the music that I've been trying to have playing while I cook~remember it's hard for my brain to focus on a task with a distraction like music. It is getting better though!

I plan to use the leftover Caponata in pizza rolls from The Vegan Zombie. I think that will be amazing. And if it is (I might call them Mario Rolls), I intend to make those for the next vegan/vegetarian potluck.

Of course, because I'm a sucker for punishment, I'm making The Luigi this week. Cause, I mean, how does someone make The Mario without making The Luigi? Am I right?!
I hope to apply what I learned from making The Mario to The Luigi.

Lessons learned:
*study the recipe
*plan the process properly

Conclusion: Yum! And yes, I will make this again.

Vegan Hungarian Torta

I've been directed to a blog with a Vegan Dobos Torta by a couple of different people. I haven't had a chance to try this version of my favourite cake made by my Hungarian grandmother, but I'm very excited to try it!

It does look very similar to my grandmother's torta, but the ingredients are very different. Obviously, the vegan version doesn't use 30 eggs. I've never heard my grandma call it a "dobos torte", and it seems completely possible that there are way more than one version out there. "Dobos torta" is basically a rich cake (thus the far too many eggs used in my family recipe) with alternate layers of sponge cake and chocolate or even mocha cream with a caramel topping.
Now, my family has never used a caramel topping, they've only ever just used the chocolate torta filling as the icing. But hey, my family could very well prefer this caramel topping once they try it!

I'll be sure to post the results once I'm able to try this recipe!

The Sexy Vegan ~ March & April 2014

For March and April of 2014, the cookbook I have chosen to cook from is The Sexy Vegan: Extraordinary Food from an Ordinary Dude by Brian L. Patton.

I first heard of his work while listening to a podcast. I can't recall if it was Our Hen House or Red Radio...mmmm...Red Radio! It came out just in 2012, and I bought it right away.
I'm embarrassed to say I cooked from it only once, and it wasn't long ago. About a month ago, we had "Food Day" where I work. People were encouraged to bring food to share. A bunch of people were on a diet (after Christmas tradition), so I thought I'd bring something (absolutely vegan) that wasn't cupcakes or doughnuts. I wanted something without gluten (co-workers are gluten-sensitive), and without soy because I don't like how non-vegans often assume that all vegans eat is sprouts and soy.

I perused my cookbook collection. I wanted to see what The Sexy Vegan had to offer. All sorts of dishes I wanted to make! I decided on the Marinated Eggplant Pasta Salad. I've never cooked with eggplant before, and I was excited to try something new! In my pre-vegan days I never ate eggplant. But it's really good! Now, as a vegan,  I've eaten it in a few dishes offered in restaurants in Regina, but never cooked it on my own.

Everyone at work loved the salad! One woman even remarked that she normally doesn't care for eggplant, but she really loved it in this dish. I was so happy. In fact, my container of salad went 'missing' when I came to work the next day. I still don't really know what happened to it, but the container was empty and clean on my desk the following week. I won't ask questions.

Brian L. Patton, the author, has a YouTube cooking show. It's hilariously awesome. My understanding is that he started with the cooking videos, then got a book deal. He named the YouTube videos, "The Sexy Vegan" so that people (namely men) would click on his videos. Well, it worked. His cooking show has loads of episodes, and he now has two cookbooks published.
Nicely done Brian!

My Fierce Independence

I'm elated to say that I've regained much independence that I had lost in the car collision. 

That's not to say I can do it all on my own.
For example, I still need help with my budgeting from my sister, Mallory...would that be a conflict of interest because she's also my landlord...?...anyways!

Before the collision and coma, I was a feminist and often rallied against social ideas about being a woman and wife. I'm relieved to say that I had separate interests from Troy(my now-ex-husband), and separating my life from his wasn't quite as devastating as it could have been.
But it was harder with the brain injury recovery.

After the coma, I depended on a lot of help from a lot of different people. Besides people having to chop up my food(once the feeding tube up my nose was removed), walk me to the bathroom(once the catheter was gone and I was out of the wheelchair), I depended on both of my mom's(my own and Troy's) to help me clean my house for awhile. Family made meals for us. Troy drove me to appointments at Wascana Rehab and the hospital and to see the ophthalmologist about my diplopia(double vision).

Basically, what's taking me a long time to outline is that my independence was gone.
I was infantile for a period, and slowly relearned how to be an adult.
It was a lot of work.

What I'm really trying to get at, is that I never intended to depend so heavily on anyone. And even through the end of my union to Troy, of what I truly thought would be till we were simply atoms in the universe, I experience great happiness to be fiercely independent again.

Even if that fierce independence looks a bit different than it had before.

3-Year Collision Anniversary

My Echo Hatchback

Today it's been 3-years since the morning of the crash.

Crazy, right?!

It is a little unbelievable that I'm the same person.
I mean . . . I am...but I'm not, at the same time. If that makes sense . . .

I am the same girl that loves to paint and belly dance, spend time with dogs and cats (any nonhumans, really). Loves playing board games, and reading. Love laughing with friends and family. I still love music. Especially Ani Difranco's work.
There was a long time (like a year) that I couldn't recall the words to any of the music I adored. I distinctly remember, standing in my old kitchen, cleaning strawberries to juice, listening to Ani Difranco. Without consciously thinking, I began to sing along, and teared up because I remembered the words.

It was a beautiful moment.

I am pretty different.
I run. Which I never did before.
I no longer drink alcohol or smoke pot.
Previously I avoided any amount of confrontation. At any cost.
I did stop being a vegetarian, for crying in the sink! And not because I craved an animal's flesh, no, no, because I didn't want to fight and explain my reasons for being a vegetarian. That's what it came down to.
Now, I no longer recoil at the thought of having an open dialogue about being vegan or eating animals and their secretions. In fact, I welcome, and often encourage it, by bringing it up whenever possible. Always with a big, welcoming smile.
I still get very tired in groups with 5 or more people. I surmise it's because, in those situations, more than one conversation usually happens at once. The numerous conversations happening at the same time is exhausting. I try, with everything I have, to block out one while listening to another. It's really fucking tricky.
This is probably the same reason I still can't seem to follow a recipe with success while music is playing. But! I have had much success listening to folk music and driving to familiar places (like to my parents)!
So that's amazing!!
Violent movies and films are also a no go with me. After the coma, I became very sensitive to violent imagery, which  probably helped encourage me to become vegan.
I don't seem to have a very reliable filter either. That's my frontal lobes' doing. If I'm thinking about something, my next thought could be, "no, I won't bring that up right now", and as I'm thinking that, the previous thought will be coming out of my mouth. It's rather incredible that I haven't seriously messed up while on the phone at Great-West Life. Even there, the same thing occurs, I'm just lucky I haven't said  something terrible.
I like cooking and baking now. It's hard to say if that was a result of the brain injury, or becoming vegan. I relearned to follow recipes as part of my cognitive therapy while I was at Wascana Rehab. I love that I'm not having to handle some animals' cut up body parts or their stolen reproductive secretions. Bit of both, perhaps?

All that said, I really do prefer the person I've become. Life is all about evolving.

Like Ani Difranco sings,

"If you aren't getting happier as you get older, then you're fucking up."

Exhausted, But Feeling Great

Mya & Chaos

Just thought I'd give an update of how my brain is recovering.

I'm working more now. Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays for four hours in the morning, and Wednesdays for three hours. Physiotherapy twice a week in the afternoon. Nap for two or three hours in the afternoons as well.  Yes, I'm told naps are completely normal for the brain injured.
I seem to be doing well at work. I'm taking calls without someone sitting next to me, and handling pretty complicated inquiries and problems that come up. So that's cool!

I've moved into my sister's house. She moved in with her boyfriend.
Mallory would face financial penalties if she sold her house before June 2015. My vegan friend, Abigail, and I are renting it. I had only met her and her twin vegan sister, Joanna, at a vegan dinner event in February 2012.
We're in the perfect neighbourhood. We're about a 22-minute walk to downtown (where my work is), we're an 8-minute walk to a  flexatarian restaurant, 13th Ave Coffeehouse (they have a pile of vegan options-well, for Regina), a 6-minute walk to Dessart, a candy store that serves vegan ice cream, and a 3-minute walk to dog-walking paths by a creek.
I'll post more about living with another vegan in the future (it's pretty great). I painted a sign for our vegan kitchen.

Chaos is happy with his new family. Abigail has a Standard Poodle named Hermione Granger, often referred to as Mya. She also recently adopted Dobby, "the house elf" (she's a Harry Potter fan, if you hadn't guessed that), a Chinese Crested from the Regina Humane Society. He seriously reminds us of a house elf. He's so freaking sweet and Chaos and Mya seem to really dig him as well.
Mannie is getting braver and getting used to the dogs. It'll take more time for her to warm up to them

Defeating My Driving Anxiety

As mentioned in a past post, I completed the Driver Assessment at Wascana Rehabilitation Centre in May 2012.
After the occupational therapists and driving instructor spent an entire day assessing my abilities, they concluded that I would benefit from 4 hours of driving instruction, that I would do fine if I drove for no more than an hour at a time (I become noticeably fatigued, and make silly decisions), a GPS, and an on-road driving test to renew my license.
The driving instruction would build my confidence (it had been more than two and a half years since I drove, plus that whole 'almost-dying thing'), and the GPS would help me find my way (my internal road-mapping was off).
In August 2012, I began my four hours (an hour at a time) of instruction. I learned to correct old, bad habits that I had developed after driving for ten years. It was good. And terrifying.
For my second hour, I had worked myself up so much that I had to cancel. I was having panic attacks just thinking about driving. Not cool.
After I cancelled that lesson, my good friend volunteered to talk on the phone with me prior to each lesson. It helped distract me from the building anxiety.
I practiced with my Dad after the lessons were complete. Like old times.
I did pretty well parallel parking while with the driving instructor, but I could not parallel park with my Dad. It was ridiculous, and very frustrating.

Alas, the test date had come: September 18, 2012. 9am.
The tester was a friendly, and patient woman (can't recall her name). The first thing she had me do was parallel park. Goody
It was a beautiful parallel park. I would've had that parallel parks' babies.
We did some downtown driving on the one-ways. She noticed the vegan buttons I have on my purse. She asked if I was vegan, I happily replied, "Indeed, I am". We talked almost the entire time about veganism. It was really rad. I felt remarkably relaxed.
When the test was about three quarters of the way complete, I shared with her that I had to do this assessment as a result of my severe brain injury.
She was amazed. She never would have guessed that I had a brain injury. I thanked her, and we talked about my brain injury and the experience of my driving anxiety. By this point, we were a block away from the building, and she revealed that she hadn't taken any points. I had passed. With a 100%!!!
I was...astounded! No points deducted?! I did everything correctly?!?!
I asked if it would be inappropriate to hug her, and she replied, "not at all". I was so happy and amazed.
I'm still so happy and amazed.
I had already resigned to the fact that I would probably need to take the test a second time.

I think I want to frame the assessment paper. There are no marks on it. Incredible.

My Facebook Post History

Facebook has introduced their new 'time-line' set up, so I was going over some past posts regarding me becoming vegan. It's nice to look back.

August 16, 2010  
 Alyx Williams
is totally transitioning to be a vegan. People are really herbivores anyhow.

September 2, 2010   
Alyx Williamsis done with Sparkpeople. I made the(what I thought was a joke) comment that the site must be funded by Kraft cuz the site doesn't give the vegan option when choosing diet. It does for vegetarians, no eggs, but nothing regarding dairy. So I made a comment and they deleted it! Facists!! Sparkpeople, you suck.
September 8, 2010  
Alyx Williams
would like to say a big THANK YOU to her secret sister(you know who you are-cuz I don't!). Thank you for the awesome vegan zombie shirt. Mmm grainnns!

September 12, 2010Alyx Williamsis officially a vegan.
I'll probably screw up, but I'm told everyone does. 

September 20, 2010 
Alyx Williams
This should answer MANY health/happiness questions people may have about the vegan diet. Be educated and enjoy!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YtuB_KmSs8k 

October 15, 2010Alyx WilliamsVegans go all the way. 
Oh yeah!

October 27, 2010Alyx Williamsis baking delicious vegan goodies! 
And I mean, your head will explode it's so delicious. 

October 31, 2010
Alyx Williamsis ridiculously happy with the current state of things. Maybe not EVERYTHING in the world, but most things in my life. :D
The whole "living thing" is pretty great.
November 1, 2010
Alyx Williamswishes everyone a Happy World Vegan Day!!
November 20, 2010
Alyx Williamshas been vegan for a little over two months and it's been AWESOME!!
I don't think I can go back to being an omnivore, being a herbivore is too fantastic! I mean, I wouldn't ask other herbivores how they're enjoying life(probably not at all), but this one is happy. 

December 17, 2010Alyx Williamsis full and satisfied after having delicious vegan macaroni and cheese for supper.
Been a little over 3 months since cheese. Don't really miss it. There's lots of great vegan options(and I'm not talking the processed soy stuff either)!
Holy man! Nutritional Yeast is great!

December 29, 2010Alyx Williamsis having a WAY better Christmas than last year...maybe, I think.
                             
December 29, 2010Alyx WilliamsOMG! Troy and I just made vegan peanut butter ice cream-it's amazing & dairy free!! Thanks for the outstanding stand-mixer, Ty!

January 12, 2011Alyx Williams4 month vegan anniversary today. It's been great! Just had to learn new habits, and that only takes 3 weeks, no matter what your age. Plus I'm trying all of these FANTASTIC plants! I love being vegan.

January 13, 2011Alyx Williams
is marinating tempeh(organic) in liquid smoke, tamari and maple syrup. Making Tempeh Bacon. It smells delicious!! I spilled a bit of the liquid smoke on my fingers, and boy howdy! Makes me want to chew my fingers.

February 11, 2011Alyx Williams
Just found out that if she cooks with quinoa at least once a week, she's gets elevated to a level 7 vegan!
Yes!! High five!

March 28, 2011Alyx WilliamsCheck out Vegan for $3.33 a Day. 
For those that think that being vegan is 'expensive'. 
Yeah, it's expensive if you buy the processed vegan foods. I eat that processed stuff once or twice a week. I eat a whole foods, plant-based diet. Vegetables, fruits, legumes, grains, mushrooms, nuts, seeds, herbs and spices. Tons. 
Best decision I ever made. Okay, marrying Troy is right up there too. :)

March 31, 2011Alyx WilliamsHere's the thing: I can eat whatever I want, there are some things I don't want. Namely animals and their secretions. I don't want these 'foods' for several reasons. I do not support the exploitation of human health, the animals, the environment, and of the people that work in the disassembly line.

I was tempted to include the responses from my friends and family, but then I decided against it.
I think(or I would like to think) there's a few people that would be a tad embarrassed by some asinine comments that were made.

Vegan Cookies Invade Your Cookie Jar

Holy YUM!
I have several of Isa Chandra Moskowitz & Terry Hope Romero's cookbooks, and they're all really delicious! Okay, not the books themselves, I haven't tasted them, but the recipes!
Mwah!
Simple instructions(which is important to me and my brain injury), and fairly common ingredients. Although only recently have all of the ingredients been easy to find...so that's AWESOME!

Yeah mainstreaming veganism!

The book starts with 'Cookie Science', which goes over the different ingredients we may not be familiar with(such as sucanat and brown rice syrup), tools, substituting and troubleshooting.

I have to mention that I love their writing style!
Reading over the instructions is like baking with a friend. You know, that fun, but annoying friend that seems to know how to make everything(bitches!).

Then there are the recipes. Wow. There's a lot.
Nice variety of different types of cookies. There's(and these are just the categories) drop cookies, wholesome cookies, bar cookies, fancy cookies, and sliced & rolled cookies.

I've had this book since mid-September 2010, according to amazon.ca, and I have made a couple recip, okay several recipes.
You can really tell where my heart lies(chocolate & peanut butter). Boy howdy, I love that stuff!
I have made:

• Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Chocolate Fudgy Oatmeal Cookies
• Chocolaty Crinkle Cookies
• Peanut Apple Pretzel Drops
• Peanut Butter Crisscrosses
• Whole Wheat Chocolate Chip Cookies
• Caramel Pecan Bars
• Peanut Butter Blondies
• Chocolate Chip Cream Cheese Brownies
• Peanut Butter Chocolate Pillows
• Chocolate Chip Chai Spice Shortbread
• Roll-And-Cut Sugar Cookies
• Chocolate Cut-Out Cookies
• Gingerbread Cut-Out Cookies
• Swedish Chocolate Balls
  
  All really good!! 
  
  I completely recommend this book to any cookie-lover, vegan or not!

Reflecting: Revised

When we are close to death, we tend to re-evaluate our lives.
I'm not sure about people with something terminal, but from what I hear they do. I know that I certainly re-evaluated my life, looking back, you know, after I was able to remember anything from my life prior to the hospital.
When I can remember, I reflect.
I found this to be especially true when learning to navigate with my new brain. Correction. My old, slightly-damaged, 'new' brain.

I get access to my 30 year catalogue of memories with different smells, or even just the way the air feels. It's very sci-fi, and surreal feeling.
Like Dali, but with an iPad.
I'm told that my brain had to find new pathways to deliver information because the old pathways were destroyed when my brain was rammed to and fro in my skull.
It is finding new pathways, all of the time! 

There was a short time that I would get confused by smells. I was sure our breakfast cereal had been contaminated by fish(this was pre-vegan). Troy assures me, our cereal was never fishy. I do remember not doing well on the smell identification portion of my first neuro-psychological assessment. It seems to have fixed itself, I don't misidentify things through scent anymore. Hooray!
Let's also remember that I had double vision for a short period of time.
My vision and scent messages found new pathways. <shrug> Why not memory?

After reflecting, it became clear to me that I had entirely too much going on in my life.
People told me this all the time, I just never saw it till I was literally knocked out, and was forced to truly slow down.
I was working a full time job at Great West Life and a part time job at Metro Pet Market, I had weekly belly dance rehearsals with eXalta6, and I was taking an online pet nutrition course. Add in painting and reading for fun, taking the dogs out and being, generally, a really social person equals a girl that needs a break.
<sigh>
I get anxiety just reading about my past life.

I will not become that again.
Luckily(?), fatigue won't allow for that, which is probably good. Although, as my brain heals more, I find myself doing exactly as I did before. Too much. Troy has to ask me daily, "is that crucial?"
I am completely guilty of taking on too much(I hear that's common). Then I play myself out, and I miss important things because I'm sleeping.

This is what I came up with after much thought:

• Veganism is where it's at. 

I don't want to participate in the violence inherent in these industries: meat, dairy, eggs, honey, wool, fur, leather, silk, vivisection, circuses, zoos, etc. So I'm not.

• Slow Down.

Silly story!  While at Wascana Rehab, at my various therapies, Troy would bring a little sign that said "SLOW DOWN!", and he would place it in front of me each time I was trying to do something too quickly. We even talked about Troy getting that tattooed on his fingers.

• Exercise.

Not only is this beneficial to your body, it helps your brain function. You know, since the brain is part of the body. Studies show that physical activity improves cognitive function.

• I have the BEST friends and family. EVER.

This became crystal clear once I was able to see what everyone has done for us.
Not to mention to emotional support. First off, there was a guest book in my hospital room that everyone wrote in that came to see my family and I.
I still get weepy, only not uncontrollably now, when I read that book. Our friends and family also helped care for our dogs and cat, our family cooked meals, Tyler stayed with Troy while I was in the hospital, I'm sure there's way more I can't think of right now!

Reflecting after nearly dying has been good. It has allowed me to really look at my life, and  my decisions.
It does beg the question though: Was a coma necessary? 

Eating Animals

I read this book because I heard that it turned a lot of people vegan.
I wanted to see what the fuss was about.
Plus I was really enjoying reading about the different perspectives from different experts. I like having my thinking challenged.

I hear, that the author, Jonathan Safron Foer, is not vegan.
Whatever. 
I know that I couldn't know any of this stuff without feeling compelled to do something about it. Which, I guess he did.
He wrote this book.
That inspired others. So that's something, I suppose.
I just know that I can't willingly pay for someone else to do my dirty work. Therefore, I'm not.


It was a really good read! Lots of facts about the different industries within animal agriculture.
Basically it was about Jonathan Safron Foer exploring these industries because he wanted to know what to feed his newborn son, as he got older.

I was really taken aback by the fishing industries, and their numbers!

"One study found that roughly 4.5 million sea animals are killed as bycatch in longline fishing every year, including roughly 3.3 million sharks, 1 million marlins, 60,000 sea turtles, 75,000 albatross, and 20,000 dolphins and whales." EVERY YEAR! Original source here.

How is there any life in the oceans with those numbers?!?!

The answer:
There won't be any life to take out of the oceans in less than 40 years. Scientists and experts agree that the rate we fish life out of the ocean today, by the year 2048, "catches of all the presently fished seafoods will have declined on average by more than 90 per cent since 1950." The Telegraph.

For awhile, I thought that I could sneak some salmon or crab to eat, but when I learned that, I knew I couldn't. I mean, how could I?! I'm not that selfish!
Ha! Should've written shellfish!         Bada Bah!

Anyway! I hear that Natalie Portman wants to make the book into a movie, because it inspired her. Should be exciting. I'd like to know how they'll do it, so hopefully it will get made!

Brain Injury =Vegan

I'm tempted to make the joke that I'm vegan because I have a serious head injury.            Bada Bah!
Get it??? <grin>

That wouldn't exactly be inaccurate...but I didn't wake from the coma and decide, then and there, to stop eating animals and their secretions.
My vegan path began with reading Skinny Bitch. (More details here.)
I started for selfish reasons. I wanted to lose weight and get healthy. I mean, good reasons, but all about me.
I stay vegan for ethics. Because it's the right thing to do.
Because taste doesn't trump ethics.

I hear rape is a pleasurable and satisfying activity for many people too . . .

My brain was slowly recovering from the injury as I began researching more and more.
It literally felt like the lights turned on in my brain. Like I'd been living in a dark cave for the first 28 years of my life and someone had somehow let the sun in.
I've heard this same truth from other vegans and I doubt that many of these vegans have brains that were also damaged.
As I obsessively researched, I discovered that a vegan diet can be very healthy. Provided I'm eating real, whole food, like fruits, vegetables, legumes, grains, nuts and seeds, and not just eating junk like Sweet Chili Heat Doritos, Oreos, and Coke.

I discovered that a vegan diet benefits my health, it's really good for the nonhuman animals, and it's great for the planet.
                             Kind of a no-brainer.

Weekend Impromptu Getaway Meal Ideas??

On November 1, 2010, I posted on thekindlife.com. 

My husband, Troy and I are going on a little impromptu weekend getaway vacation this weekend. Apparently, (I don't remember) we had put our names in for them to contact about deals,etc. They have a GREAT deal this weekend, so we're going. Anyhoo, I'm vegan, Troy's flirting. We're going to Elk Horn Resort in Manitoba (we're in Regina, Saskatchewan), and I'm not entirely sure what to take, I've Googled their menus, and there's not a lot of options. If it was one meal, I could make it work. If it was one day, I could make it work without too much planning, but three days?? I'm not sure, without some guidance. <smiles sheepishly>

Should I call the lady that booked us in about requiring anything special? I think we can make no fridge work, by taking a cooler, and using hotel ice. Should we take a toaster? For sandwiches, toast and such? I know I can easily take nuts and dried fruit. Should I make vegan waffles, freeze them and take them for breakfast? Toast them? Or do you think the restaurant would toast them for us?

See many questions. Maybe I should just call the resort. Thank you in advance!

 I did end up calling the resort to see if our room came with a fridge and such. No reply for a week, but I was able to figure it out, and I posted again once we got back.

For others looking for similar information, thought I put what I learned.
First, I planned our meals so I knew what to take. Luckily our room had a little fridge, and we brought our own toaster, for waffles. For breaky we had vegan waffles (recipe from Colleen Patrick-Goudreau'sThe Joy of Vegan Baking-delicious and easy). Made them the night before and froze them, took Earth Balance and maple syrup. Also took 4 bananas and a small thing of strawberries & chocolate soy milk. For lunch, we had sandwiches, with mutigrain bread, tofurkey, eggless mayo, mustard, tomato, pickles. Supper, we ate at the resort's restaurant. Really the only thing vegan was the salad Tangled Greens. Very much a rancher's steak house atmosphere. :( Not to worry, I had that and seasoned baked tortillas with white bean dip back in our room.  And I was pleasantly surprised at how accomadating the staff was. They made a special vegan burrito with sundried tomato hummus, in their lounge the next day. Delish! I also remembered that we would need cutlery and such, so I brought our awesome picnic basket, it even included a cutting board and cutting knife! It was pretty awesome.

Oh yes, for travel snacks, I made Walnut Chocolate Chip Banana Muffins (also The Joy of Vegan Baking), I brought a nut and dried fruit mix, and pumpkin seeds and for dessert we had Chocolate Almond Brittle (The Joy of Vegan Baking...again).

Everything went well. I made sure we had our stuff together (I'm very much a list girl). Any questions, just ask, if anyone would like that white bean dip recipe-it's really good!-again ask. :)

The recipe post:

Alright, it's actually called White Bean Spread, now that I've got the recipe in hand. I got it from a cooking instructor, she always gets requests for the spread recipe when she takes it to functions.

1/3 cup olive oil, 2 large cloves of garlic-minced, 3/4 tsp ground coriander, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/3tsp pepper, 1 can white kidney beans, drained and rinsed, 1/4 cup lemon juice (also good with lime juice), 1 tbsp Tahini (sesame paste), 1/2 tsp cumin, 1/2 tsp hot pepper sauce, 3 tbsp frech coriander-important ingredient

Blend together olive oil, garlic, and ground coriander, salt, pepper, white kidney beans, and lemon juice, tahini, cumin and hot pepper sauce (I find the hand blender works best). Stir in fresh coriander. Can be made with different beans.

Let me know how it goes, once you get a chance to try it.  :)

So that was what I was doing as a brand-new vegan, at a month and a half.
Just took some thought and planning. Which I've found to be a valuable tool with my brain injury. Plan, plan, plan.

Oops! Missed Blogging Yesterday...

I do apologize.
Totally spaced and didn't blog at all yesterday!

This is why I didn't blog:

Wednesday nights, Troy and I alternate hosting supper with another couple we are friends with, Katie & Riley. It was on Thursday nights, but our schedules had to be shuffled around.
We've been doing this since September 2011. It's been working great! Of course, it's always a vegan dish! And it's always been delicious!

Okay, not totally true.
There was a lasagna that really didn't work out, so we got takeout from 13th Ave Coffee House. But everything else=amazing!
This week, it was Katie & Riley's turn to host. We had Colleen Patrick-Goudreau's Pasta Primavera with Fresh Veggies and Herbs, a salad(we do win friends with salad!), and a fruit salad. Super good!

Katie's Cupcake-style Cake

Katie was trying to make a cake for her boss's birthday, she had already tried twice. She makes these really cool, cupcake-style cakes using this cake pan that is poorly designed. Like the one she made for my 30th birthday!
The problem is that there are two 'cake' parts to the single pan, but they're different from each other in shape and size, so it doesn't bake evenly. One cake gets super cooked, and the other cake is liquid inside.
She also has to contend with an oven that doesn't work well.

I invited them back to our place to try baking the cake again, using our 3 year-old stove/oven. Plus we have a dishwasher, and they would have to do dishes again, by hand at home.
So Riley & Katie came over to bake the cake, while Troy went to his parents to fix the hood of our car(it broke in the cold!). We got it mostly baked out, and Troy came home with his brother, Tyler and his girlfriend, Andrea in tow. Then Troy's cousin, Jay came over too.

I'm sure I've mentioned this before, but people exhaust me. I also have a hard-time paying any attention(making me more tired) when I can hear another conversation, while trying to maintain the conversation I am in.
Wednesday night was exhausting for me.
Katie, Riley and I were baking in the kitchen and everyone else was in the dining room, visiting. It got really loud, and distracting. And exhausting.
Don't get me wrong. I had a good time, it was fun, and awesome hanging out with everyone, but I paid for it later.

***The cake didn't work again. <wah wah> Clearly, we need to alter the cake pan and make it awesome!***
Luckily, Troy is a machinist, and he works with metal and such all the time!

On Thursday, I didn't do anything. Nothing.
Friday, we got some fresh produce in the morning. In the afternoon, we tried cooking the couple of appetizers for another dinner date we have next week.
Andrea(another Andrea), is trying vegan for the month of January for a nutrition class she's taking. She has to write a paper(I think...?), and wanted to pick my brain over dinner.
Of course, I said yes, love talking vegan!

She can't eat soy or nuts, so I wanted an appy that she could eat. We are making Curried Chickpea Cakes from Skinny Bitch: Ultimate Everyday Cookbook: Crazy Delicious Recipes That Are Good to the Earth and Great for Your Bod by Kim Barnouin and Pineapple Mango Chutney from Color Me Vegan by Colleen Patrick-Goudreau.
OMG! Had these dishes last night(with steamed broccoli, snap peas and vegan garlic toast) and amazing.

My First Name

Yes, my parents picked my name.
Actually, to be more accurate, my dad picked Alyx or Jynx. My mom got to choose between those two names. She picked Alyx. My dad seemed to have something for x's and y's . . . he got the spelling for my name from a racy novel called Alyx by Lolah Burford.
Growing up, I only ever had the cover for this novel. I'm not sure what happened to the actual book. Once I figured out that I could find it on Amazon.ca, I ordered it.

Must say, pretty bad.
I could be biased because I waited my entire life to read it. And it is a dirty book that my dad read.
I had a lot of hope for some profound, universal truth hidden in the pages, that my dad felt he needed to immortalize with his daughter's name. Or maybe that's mortalize...because I will die. Either way, disappointing.

I've often wondered how I would be different if I was called 'Jynx'.
I'm already pretty 'out there', or different from the great unwashed.
The reason I bring this topic up, is because Regina's vegetarian/vegan group(Regina Vegetarian Society) is finally active once again and one of my fellow members also is named Alyx. How crazy is that?!I mean, what are the chances that the only other Alyx that I know(that uses a 'y'!) is also vegetarian?! Craziness.
I haven't met her yet, our first potluck is near the end of March, but I am very excited!

That got me thinking about people with non-traditional names and how they end up. Did my father set me up to be a vegan? Without knowing it?
I guess having to spell my name each time I tell a new person taught me to not be afraid to try new things. I think....maybe.
More specifically, having a different name taught me to be okay with the weird looks I would get from people.
Maybe I'm used to being a tad different.
Maybe being vegan doesn't seem as daunting or terrifying to me for that very reason.

A Challenge!! Veganize This: Hungarian Torta

Okay, here's the recipe my mom uses to make her torta. There are lots of versions, even within my own family, maybe your family makes something similar.

The version of this recipe that I had, has terrible directions! Terrible!
"Add the vanilla extract? What vanilla extract?! There's none listed...and how much?!?" Argh.
I didn't get it, so I had Troy look at it. He was super confused, so I talked to my mom. Luckily she was able to email me her recipe(which uses no vanilla extract!). Then we added more instructions because my family recipes seem to not include instructions. :P
Meeting with my mom in person, twice, 6 emails, and 5 phone calls later, I was able revamp the recipe so not just my mom gets it.
This recipe has many steps, it takes about 4 hours, but I am begging you to help me veganize this! Please note that this recipe can be reduced.
Help?
Please? I'll be your friend forever.                 

Hungarian Torta
The Dough-Torta Layers
This should make enough for 3 to 4 large cookie sheets.The layers get cut in half, once baked, so 6-8 layers.
Preheat oven to 400 degrees Fahrenheit.  Line cookie sheets with foil.  Coat the foil on the cookie sheets with lard and dust with flour. Be sure to coat all the lard with flour.

• 18 Tbsp unbleached all-purpose flour
• 3/4 tsp  salt
• 3/4 tsp baking powder Combine dry ingredients in a bowl.

• 18 eggs, separated               
• 18 Tbsp granulated sugar

Beat egg whites till stiff. Add half (9 Tbsp)of the sugar. Keep beating till mixed in well. Set egg-white mixture aside.

Beat egg yolks till thick, adding other 9 Tbsp of sugar.

Fold dry ingredients mixture into egg yolks. Fold in the egg-white mixture.

Put batter in just to evenly cover the pan.Watch carefully as it bakes quickly. Should be a very light brown.

Remove from oven, remove foil from pan and turn over onto brown paper. Gently remove foil from layer.

Repeat till all layers are baked.

 The Torta Filling

• 10 egg yolks
• 2 eggs(whites and yolks)

Beat these together until they're a creamy yellow colour. Put mixture in fridge to keep cool.

• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1/4 cup water

Place in a pot, mix and boil, stirring constantly. Boil till mixture forms a thread when dripping off a spoon (till it is thick to drip off spoon-my grandma calls this 'threading'). Immediately, but slowly, add to the egg mixture beating all the time. Beat till completely mixed. And mix for a couple minutes longer.

Once quite cool add the following butter mixture:

• 2 cup unsalted butter, softened  
• 2 Tbsp cocoa powder, add more to taste

Sift the cocoa powder into the butter. Then mix butter mixture with the cooled egg mixture.Cut the dough layers in half put frosting between each layer and top. Be sure to alternate the layers to prevent lopsided Torta.
Trim sides of cake and frost.
*********************************************************************************
We cut the cake into thin-ish slices, rather than the classic cuts like the cake shown above.
I always loved this cake served frozen. My mom likes it room temperature. But to each their own!
Please don't hesitate to message me, or tweet me any questions!!

Bought Husband Wool Sweater...Damn

My first day of being vegan was September 12, 2010.
Within that first week, I found out about these really cool looking sweaters while at Metro Pet Market. They're from a company called Granted Clothing. Super cool sweaters.

Lebowski

Minus one detail:
Made from wool.      wah wah  
I never bothered looking into the how we get wool.
I saw the sweaters, and I knew Troy would want one.
They are very similar to the sweater that The Dude wears on The Big Lebowski. Very cool!

Speaking of!!
For the last six hallowe'ens we have hosted a costume party because Troy's birthday is the 29th.

Scott(of 'Shannon & Scott', of our adventure friends)usually comes dressed as a drunken pirate.

This year Scott dressed as "The Dude". It was rad! 

Some guy in skull sweater

Back on topic, Alyx!!
I saw the skull sweater and I ordered Troy one for his birthday.
He loves it.
I mean, it's a siwash, and it has skulls!
What's NOT to love?  Again, rhetorical. I don't love that it's made with wool. I'm actually rather irritated. And a bit sad.

This is where I forgive myself for making the mistake. I have learned from this mistake.

You may wonder what the problem with wool is. I wondered the very same thing.

Thankfully, I found the answer on Colleen Patrick-Goudreau's podcast, Vegetarian Food For Thought.
The episode titled, The Shearing of Sheep, told me what the problems are with wool.
I know there are many YouTube videos that talk about this as well, I just really appreciate the way that Colleen delivers the information. Compassionate and truthful.

My next task is to commission someone to knit a vegan sweater with skulls for the love of my life, Troy.
I can do many things, but I don't know how to knit.
I'll start with Etsy.com.