Sunday, June 30, 2013

My Fierce Independence

I'm elated to say that I've regained much independence that I had lost in the car collision. 

That's not to say I can do it all on my own.
For example, I still need help with my budgeting from my sister, Mallory...would that be a conflict of interest because she's also my landlord...?...anyways!

Before the collision and coma, I was a feminist and often rallied against social ideas about being a woman and wife. I'm relieved to say that I had separate interests from Troy(my now-ex-husband), and separating my life from his wasn't quite as devastating as it could have been.
But it was harder with the brain injury recovery.

After the coma, I depended on a lot of help from a lot of different people. Besides people having to chop up my food(once the feeding tube up my nose was removed), walk me to the bathroom(once the catheter was gone and I was out of the wheelchair), I depended on both of my mom's(my own and Troy's) to help me clean my house for awhile. Family made meals for us. Troy drove me to appointments at Wascana Rehab and the hospital and to see the ophthalmologist about my diplopia(double vision).

Basically, what's taking me a long time to outline is that my independence was gone.
I was infantile for a period, and slowly relearned how to be an adult.
It was a lot of work.
What I'm really trying to get at, is that I never intended to depend so heavily on anyone. And even through the end of my union to Troy, of what I truly thought would be till we were simply atoms in the universe, I experience great happiness to be fiercely independent again.

Even if that fierce independence looks a bit different than it had before.